Broadway’s A Chorus Line kicks off a winter wonderland of theatre offerings across the city.

Credit: supplied

STAGE: A look ahead at this winter’s local theatre season

We don’t know about you, but our winter blues require theatre a bit more robust than yet another production about angels, wise men, or some feel-good trope on the meaning of the season. Luckily, Vancouver’s stages are simply full of sex, scoundrels, murder, and marital discord. It’s enough to make us believe in Christmas miracles after all.

A CHORUS LINE
Long before “meta” became an artistic hipster mission statement, there was A Chorus Line. A Broadway musical about the making of a Broadway musical, the show takes place on a bare stage, and follows the travails of 17 dancers vying for one of eight spots in the chorus of a new production. Its backstage conceit was the result of a contentious and, eventually, litigious collaboration between a dancers’ workshop, iconic Broadway director-choreographer Michael Bennett, playwright James Kirkwood, Jr., dancer-writer Nicholas Dante, and composer Marvin Hamlisch.
Why you should see it: “Tits and Ass,” the incredibly prescient number about the joys of career advancement in the age of plastic surgery, is usually worth the price of admission alone. Plus, who can resist a kick line?

Nov. 3-8 at Centre for Performing Arts, 8 pm (Tues.-Sat.), 7:30 pm (Sun). Matinees: Sat.-Sun., 2 pm. $59-$89 from 604-280-4444 or Ticketmaster.ca. Info: AChorusLine.com

ROMEO AND JULIET
I know we kinda dissed “meta” above as a hipster cause célèbre, but this show could be a winner nonetheless. Capilano University’s Exit 22 presents a modern adaptation of the classic Shakespearian romance-tragedy by setting the action in an acting class whose students are attempting to put on the play.
Why you should see it: While a reference to Baz Luhrman’s 1996 film adaptation and the use of the term “fiercely youthful” in the synopsis gave us pause, we applaud the contrivance of having 18- to 20-year-olds perform as themselves instead of trying to inhabit the minds of 16-year-olds with preternatural adolescent emotional strength. We get enough of that with Gossip Girl.

Nov. 19-28 at Capilano Performing Arts Theatre, North Vancouver, 8 pm. Matinees, Nov. 24-25, 12 pm; Nov. 22 & 28, 2 pm. $8-20 from 604-990-7810. Info: CapilanoU.ca/exit22

DIRTY ROTTEN SCOUNDRELS
After the success of last season’s The Drowsy Chaperone, the Playhouse hopes to once again catch musical lightning in a bottle with this zany adaptation of Frank Oz’s 1988 heist comedy of the same name starring Steve Martin and Michael Caine. Two very different con men meet on a train to a remote village on the French Riviera, and make a bet to see who is the better crook by seducing a naive young heiress — winner takes all.
Why you should see it: With nary a heart that is warmed, Scoundrels is one of the few antidotes to the more traditional treacle on the city’s stages over the holidays. Also, Max Reimer, artistic managing director of the Playhouse, directs and choreographs, Andrew Wheeler takes on the role of suave seducer Lawrence Jameson, and clowner extraordinaire Josh Epstein plays common grifter Freddy Benson.

Nov. 21-Dec. 27 at Playhouse Theatre, 8 pm. Matinees: Wed. & Sat., 2 pm. $38-$69 from 604-873-3311. Info: VancouverPlayhouse.com

BLINK
Leaky Heaven’s fourth annual Blink is where it’s at for theatre lovers who find themselves easily distracted by shiny objects or the hangnail on their index finger. Billed as a “performance for the modern attention span,” Blink is an evening of performances lasting one minute or less.
Why you should see it: The cast list so far reads like a who’s-who of local indie theatre, featuring performances by Tanya Podlozniuk, Sasa Brown, Billy Marchenski, Neworld Theatre, The Contingency Plan, Seven Tyrants Theatre, TigerMilk Collective, Craning Neck Theatre, Pound of Flesh Theatre, and Proximity Arts. Plus, at only one minute, you needn’t wait too long for the next piece if you get bored.

Dec. 12 at Russian Hall, 8 pm. Tickets $12 at door. INFO: LeakyHeaven.com

WHO’S AFRAID OF VIRGINIA WOOLF?
Fuck peace on earth and goodwill towards men — especially if one of those men is your loser husband who never got any further than associate history professor at the university your dad runs. Just like your family’s Christmas dinner, naked vitriol, lewd drunkenness, and the stench of failure permeate every moment of Edward Albee’s Tony- and Pulitzer Prize-winning play.
Why you should see it: Gabrielle Rose as Martha. Hell, yeah!

Dec. 27-Jan. 16, 7:30 pm (Wed.-Sat.). Matinees Sat. & Sun., 2 pm. Tickets $15-$35 from 604-251-1363. Info: BlackbirdTheatre.ca

NEVERMORE: THE IMAGINARY LIFE AND MYSTERIOUS DEATH OF EDGAR ALLAN POE
A national project with more producing partners than a polygamous marriage, Nevermore follows in the goth, art-house footsteps of its 2007 predecessor, The Black Rider, itself a hybrid creation. Nevermore proves that it takes a village to mount a macabre musical: a Catalyst Theatre production; commissioned by Magnetic North Theatre Festival; co-commissioned by Luminato; developed with the support of Keyano Theatre, Fort McMurray, and the Banff Centre for the Arts; presented with Arts Club Theatre Company, PuSh International Performing Arts Festival, and the Cultural Olympiad. There’s probably more, but ink’s expensive.
Why you should see it: A musical fairytale that bills itself as both chilling and whimsical has our fingers crossed for a Tim Burton-esque tribute to the venerable Poe, a man who understood that real terror begins with one’s imagination. Jan. 21-Feb. 6 at Granville Island Stage, 8 pm (Wed-Sat), 7:30 pm (Tues.). Matinees: Wed. & Sat., 2 pm. $25-$45 from ArtsClub.com

BEST BEFORE
Impotent Olympic rage got you down? Shore up your righteous indignation with internationally acclaimed, Berlin-based “theatre documentarians” Rimini Protokoll and their interactive, multi-media experience in democracy, Best Before (its working title). Employing hand-picked local professionals as moderators, audience members will get to “vote” using their electronic avatars on a number of ballot initiatives that will change the virtual city before them in unexpected ways.
Why you should see it: Rimini Protokoll are part of a handful of avant-garde artists with an international reputation. Think of it as a last feast before the eventual arts-cuts famine in 2010. Revisionists in the crowd may get off on being able to vote ‘No’ on a re-enacted Olympic referendum.

Jan. 29-30, Feb. 2–6 at The Cultch, 7 pm. Matinees: Jan. 30, 31, and Feb. 6, 4 pm. Tickets $20 from 604 -251-1363. Info: TheCultch.com