ARTS: Life is a Cabaret

Rumblings from the underground suggest that hidden in the shadows, far from the bridge-and-tunnel crowds of the Granville Strip and GM Place’s lip-synching divas, a plethora of wickedly funny, wildly inventive, and — dare we say — freakin’ cool people toil away in relative obscurity, creating an alternate, highly original universe where, believe it or not, Vancouver is fun.

Without the benefit of big budgets, publicists, or interviews on ET Canada, and despite Vancouver’s Byzantine alcohol laws and indifferent attitude towards a healthy nightlife, a diverse array of new performers is beginning to emerge from the city’s pristine church basements and ramshackle booze cans. Together, these trailblazers are creating a vibrant indie performance scene: one in which variety shows bring together midgets and muscle men, sex-positive cabarets strip away prudery’s shame, and comedy comes in all colours.

 

PAUL ANTHONY’S TALENT TIME
Host Paul Anthony
TalentTime.tv

What it is: “A true variety show” at the Biltmore Cabaret (395 Kingsway, first Wednesday every month, 8 p.m. $5 at the door; and on Novus TV network channel 4, 11:30 p.m. and 1 a.m. daily).

A typical Talent Time experience might include... “We work really hard to bring together a show of acts that would never be on the same stage together: miniature mariachis, comic hypnotists, celebrity impersonators, airbands, drag queens, magicians, tribute bands, comedians... One time Moondog Manson from Extreme Canadian Championship Wrestling (ECCW) interrupted our interview and lifted [fellow wrestler] Scotty Mac over his head, body-slamming him onto the stage. That show ended with me at the hospital with a concussion! These aren’t skits, but real people we find doing real things all over the Lower Mainland.”

How do you keep them coming back for more? “I really can’t stand it when low-budget Canadian TV shows try so hard to look high budget. Our show is what it is. Our guests are what they are and we celebrate that. I think people are attracted to that honesty.”

The “No Fun City” conundrum: “We live in a province that changes the slogan on our license plates to “Best Place on Earth” and yet it’s still illegal to dance ANYWHERE on Commercial Drive? They want to be recognized as a world class city yet still have these ridiculous liquor laws. There are so many people in this town searching for something out of the ordinary. I guess I’m a little bit of a tour guide. The show is really my love letter to Vancouver. Audiences get to see acts from their own city they would never otherwise have seen. Then again, some people are happy smoking pot and never leaving the house and hopefully we can reach them through the TV show. We’re trying to cover all the bases.”

Coming up: “A senior citizens vaudeville troupe.”

 

CANDY GIRL CABARET
Creator and choreographer, Leigh Torlage
CandyGirlCabaret.com

What it is: A Broadway-style revue at Maxine’s Hideaway (1215 Bidwell, Fridays at7 p.m. & 10 p.m. $15-$20 from 604-689-8822).

What you can expect at a Candy Girls show: “Beautiful and talented female singers and dancers in a classy, sexy, provocative, polished, entertaining, and — above all — fun show. It’s not a striptease, it’s not musical theatre — it’s somewhere in between. Everything is choreographed (I’m a perfectionist) and people are always blown away by the professionalism and are often shocked that the girls all sing live.”

How do you keep them coming back for more? “The show itself is constantly evolving. From pinstripes and fedoras to cowboy hats and daisy dukes, each set is different. There’s always something new, whether it’s a hot singing cowboy who appears on stage or a beautiful bartender jumping into the act.”

The “No Fun City” conundrum: “Quality and integrity do exist in this city. You just have to venture out and find those hidden gems.”

 

THE WET SPOTS
John Woods and Cass King
WetSpotsMusic.net

What it is: Sex comedy cabaret debuting By The Seat Of Our Panties — A Burlesque Musical May 2 at WISE Hall (882 Adanac Street), 8 p.m. & 10:30 p.m. $20-$25 at the door or Zulu Records (1972 W. 4th).

Who loves a good Wet Spot show? John: “Our ideal audience member is wealthy, gorgeous, promiscuous and prone to gifting large sums of money to sex comedy cabaret acts so that they may record albums.”

How do you keep them coming back for more? John: “We like to mix it up — perform with a full band sometimes or add different elements to our repertoire. In our sex-ed parody show, Sing Your Way to Better Sex, we sang, acted, and had a multimedia [element]. We’re about to put up an original full-length musical, By the Seat of Our Panties, [in collaboration with] Screaming Chicken Theatrical Society. It’s set in a crumbling burlesque theater and features numerous demented, bizarre production numbers: The sort of thing you only get to see in underground Vancouver cabarets.”

The “No Fun City” conundrum: Cass: “All I know is that the clubs in the ‘club district’ are offering one thing, and the rental rooms (in East Van, primarily) are offering something wildly different, and it’s been that way since I moved here in ’92. It took me years to find a scene that intrigued me in Vancouver. It’s a very word-of-mouth city, and the interesting places are often hidden away. Seriously, how do you find out about the Waldorf Hotel or Pat’s Pub until you meet someone who insists you slap on a funny wig and a cocktail dress and go there?”

DACID C. JONES
Creator of queer comedy troupes Threesome and Tops and Bottoms
DavidCJones.ca

What it is: Threesome is a weekly queer improv comedy show with a multicultural cast (Thursdays at 9 p.m. at Maxine’s Hideaway. $5 at the door.)

What makes your show unique? “We’re daring and clever without going for the cheap shots. With Threesome we’re discovering a huge chunk of our audience is straight identified. We also have a very culturally diverse show. We are actively — no — aggressively inclusive in our recruitment, and I think audiences are responding to that, that we look and sound like them.”

The “No Fun City” conundrum: “We have that reputation because we’re very controlling and puritanical, especially in our booze laws. I just came back from Barcelona where I watched a light and music show by a fountain at 9 p.m. while siting on a bench drinking red wine. I would have been tasered for that in Vancouver. We’re so regulated about when and what we can do that when a group’s able to run a beer garden, locals have no choice but to overturn cars and smash windows. They can’t handle the freedom. It makes them lose control.”

LITTLETRAMP CAFE
Creator Sean Cook
LittletrampCafe.com

What it is: Fledgling cabaret/burlesque musical searching for a place to call home.

Why did you write Littletramp Cafe? “In 2002, when I saw my first burlesque show, I was struck by how much the audience was genuinely engaged. The confidence, charm, and wit of the performers were redefining the dominant, cookie-cutter ideas about beauty, but without moralizing. My thought was to write a unifying storyline that brought music, comedy, and the tasteful stripteases of burlesque together as dinner theatre.”

The search for a venue: “[During our initial run at a local East Side restaurant] guests would e-mail the next day to thank us and to report that their cheeks still hurt from laughing. Now that our concept is proven, we need to partner with a central venue that’s interested in, and capable of, hosting a dinner theatre.” (Hint, hint... —Ed.)

The “No Fun City” conundrum: “In many ways, Vancouver is a victim of its own success, or should I say excess. Go tell a 22-year-old on Granville on a Saturday night that Vancouver is “No Fun City” and he’ll have no clue what you’re talking about. But six years from now, he’ll gather up what’s left of his brain cells, move to the suburbs and focus on career and family. He finally has money to spend, but instead of exploring local culture, his entertainment scene becomes chain restaurants and GM Place for concerts and hockey.”