Helena Bonham Carter as the Red Queen in Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland.

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MOVIE REVIEW (ONLINE EXCLUSIVE): Alice in Wonderland

ALICE IN WONDERLAND
Starring Mia Wasikowska, Johnny Depp
Directed by Tim Burton
Just when she thought she was out, they pull her back in to fulfill her destiny — of becoming Alice the Jabberwock Slayer. Such is the rather wonky premise of Tim Burton’s uninspired and misguided take on Lewis Carroll’s most famous creation.

When 19-year-old Alice (Mia Wasikowska) faces the grim reality of an arranged marriage, she runs for the hills, only to once again plunge through a rabbit hole. Crash-landing in Wonderland for the first time since childhood, she discovers the tyrannical Red Queen (Helena Bonham Carter) now ruling over a bleak wasteland. Reuniting with the Mad Hatter (Johnny Depp) and his macabre cohorts, Alice learns that only she can liberate Wonderland by killing the Queen’s dragon-like Jabberwock in battle.

Screenwriter Linda Woolverton’s dark and violent scenario is rendered all the more joyless by Burton’s disjointed execution — he exhibits an attention span every bit as short as the impetuous Red Queen’s. The minor challenges that beset Alice are overcome in perfunctory, unimaginative fashion, leaving us with the impression that we’re simply biding time until the climactic showdown. When that set piece finally unfolds, it only serves as a reminder that Burton is never going to be anyone’s first choice as an action director.

While the CGI-assisted character design is certainly inspired, few of the performances leave much of an impression, with even Burton’s casting mainstays generating mixed results. On the positive side of the ledger, Bonham Carter single-handedly resuscitates the listless film with her every appearance as the “perfectly horrid” bobble-headed monarch. Meanwhile, Depp’s strained attempts to imbue the Hatter with some anarchic spirit feel like he’s channelling ’80s-era Robin Williams. If only the proceedings actually reached their nadir with Depp’s embarrassing “dance of joy.” Alas, there’s still Avril Lavigne’s theme song to come. ★★ —Curtis Woloschuk