RANT/RAVE (Week of Feb. 4)

Maid to disappoint
I have a rant for the so-called cleaning services in Vancouver. If you call yourself a cleaning service but claim I have to pick up everything off the floor before you come, then what’s the point of having a cleaning service? I can do all my dusting and things like that, but I just need someone to get the shit off the floor.
Anonymous Rantline caller

Walk it like you talk it
I’m just calling about the anti-idling bylaw that exists in Vancouver. The only cars I’ve ever witnessed idling are cop cars. I’ve seen cops standing around their cars, chatting and having coffee, for two or three minutes, cars just idling away. I just find it rather ironic that the only people I’ve ever witnessed breaking this bylaw are the people that are supposed to enforce it.
Anonymous Rantline caller

You said it
Here’s something that really pisses me off to no end. Alright, it’s not that serious, but on my iPod, the album art — I don’t want it! I can’t turn it off and I can’t read the titles. I’m such a fuckin’ dork.
Anonymous Rantline caller

Colour my world
Why oh why do most of the high-rise towers — old and new — have to be a dismal grey? As if our beautiful Vancouver is not grey enough in the wintertime! Just visualize how a little colour would brighten eveyone’s day. Are the builders too cheap to buy a bit of paint? Grey buildings shoud be outlawed in our beautiful Vancouver. Make them paint!
Anonymous

Coming unhinged
My rant is with apartment dwellers that can’t close their front door without letting it slam shut! It’s like they’ve forgotten that other people live in the same building, and that most of the apartments built today have paper-thin walls that seem to have been designed to transmit as much noise as possible. Are doors really that hard to close without a big, dramatic bang, day after day after day? Can you not take a tenth of a second out of your stupid fucking life to hold the handle and close the door slowly and quietly? You jiggle the keys, making noise; you slap and push the door handle, making more noise; then you — SLAM!— let the door close! And it’s even worse when you’re fetching stuff from the hall or elevator: SLAM, SLAM, SLAM! Fuck you! That hydraulic device that SLAMS the door for you — well, I removed that thing off my door, and now it stays open until I close it. Not too hard to do, you idiots! You are an inconsiderate group of people who can all go to hell! I hate you!
Stompin’ Mad Tom Connors

The bright side
I’ve gotta get this off my chest. Here I am, sitting in paradise, surrounded by beauty, it’s [almost] spring, the birdies are singing — and everywhere I look, people with long faces, won’t say good morning or hello, won’t look me in the eye. What is the problem, people? Take your B vitamins. Get a little grip. Come on! It’s gonna be spring in just a couple of minutes. Wakey wakey!
Anonymous Rantline caller