RANT/RAVE! (Week of July 29)

It is to laugh
I’m just watching the news on TV, and they’re asking people to please behave and pick up their garbage after the [Celebration of Light]. Ha ha ha ha ha ha! That’s all I have to say. (No, it isn’t. —Ed.) You want people to pick up after themselves? You’ve got to be kidding. People in this city are disgusting, self-absorbed, selfish, horrible, disgusting pigs! Yeah, right, that’s gonna happen!
Angela

The path of least resistance
I just want to say a giant thank you to all the drivers out there who are being so conscientious toward bicyclists on the road. I’ve seen a lot of kindness as I’ve been out there cycling. I really appreciate the many people who’ve checked before they open their [car] doors and before they’ve pulled out.
To the moron who decided to walk across the bike path while talking on his cellphone, causing me to swerve around him so I didn’t crash: That was a really excellent example you set for that kid who was with you. I think pedestrians need to open their eyes just as much as bicyclists and just as much as drivers. We gotta share the road, people.
Anonymous Rantline caller

Noise is freedom
I live in the West End, and I own a bike that, by many standards, is considered loud — but, by the standards of the Motor Vehicle Act and the City, not too loud. I plan to continue to come and go from my apartment as I please, at whatever hour I please. If the urban soundscape — including my bike — disturbs you, then I suggest that you haul your whiny ass out to some desolate portion of the ’burbs or the valley where you might be more comfortable. This would also save us from having to listen to your bitching.
Anonymous

It’s a dog’s life... literally
To the person who took the life of the little dog on Saturday, July 17, at West 11th and Burrard: I have been completely and utterly devastated since that day, when I stumbled across the dog who had been carelessly dumped on the side of the road while you continued on your merry way. I care about all forms of life, even spiders — I can’t kill anything. I believe that all life is precious. So, when I came across that gory sight, I was absolutely heartbroken, and still am. It’s not your fault that the dog ran across the road and you did not have time to stop. It is, however, your mistake that you just left it there for passersby to see. What if a little kid saw that? Shame on you. I will never be the same. The least you could have done would have been to stay with the dog until Animal Control came to rest its little body at peace. I’ll never be able to get over it. Ever. And to the person who lost their beautiful little guy, my heart goes out to you.
Shannon

Flattery will get you printed
This is a rave for the pithy, clever rant/rave titles written, I presume, by the editor of the Rant/Rave! column. And this rave was not written by the editor to get a promotion or pay raise. Honestly. Truthfully. Cross my heart.
Alan

Green thumbs up
Major kudos go to our new gardener, Eric (excuse the spelling if I’m wrong), who really loves his gardens at Beach Towers in the West End. I see him daily, tending to all the flowers, plants, and trees. We’ve lived here for almost 40 years, and this is the first time we’ve seen gardens that we’re very proud of. The colours, smells, and care taken to show off the flora at their best are amazing. Thank you, Eric, for making our home look so good.
P.S. Visitors, please do not ruin our pride and joy. Respect it.
Bud and Penny

A feel-good failure
Around 5pm this afternoon, I crossed the Burrard Bridge, heading south, in my 2010 Lincoln Navigator — which, by the way, is very eco-friendly; it would take 250 Navigators to emit as much pollution as one 1960s-era, blue-smoke-belching VW Hippie Bus. In the 12 minutes it took me to cross the bridge due to the gridlock caused by the bike lane, I counted 18 cyclists using that lane. I also counted nine cyclists riding on the pedestrian sidewalk on the eastern side of the bridge, and seven cyclists on the sidewalk on the western side. The math speaks for itself; the bike lane is an idiotic idea that wastes the time of people who have to commute because they work for a living and pay taxes to the morons at City Hall who like to spend money on useless “feel-good” projects. Could be worse, I guess. Those morons might get the idea to build condos for homeless chickens. Nah, they’re not that idiotic.
Gordo the Navigator

Post-fireworks disorder
The wife and I just moved into the West End, and enjoyed the fact that we could walk to the fireworks last night. Great show by the Yanks, but what’s with the morons who brought their dogs to the show? It was loud, it was bright, and I’m sure that it was terrifying to most canines. Plus, the constant howling from these dogs was a bit annoying. These fools are going to think differently when their designer dogs need hearing aids and therapy!
CM

Driver to rider
I don’t get it. If there are laws now enacted in which I cannot text or talk on my phone unless it’s hands-free while I’m in my car, why are there not laws enacted for cyclists in the same manner? Today, within a six-block radius, I almost took out three cyclists. The first one: texting while riding. The second one: talking on the phone while riding. The third one: unbelievably, holding a coffee in one hand, trying to balance the bike, and talking on the phone with the other hand. You people have a deathwish, and if you think it’s dangerous while driving, it’s 10 times more dangerous while riding your bike. Get a brain, people. I don’t want to kill anyone, I don’t want to see any of you hurt, and I don’t want my car damaged at the same time. Stop doing this, cyclists.
Anonymous Rantline caller

The final countdown
2012, the end of the world. Such welcome relief. No more Gregor. No more Gordon. No more Surrey-in-the-city, flash-and-bang festival of the dim in English Bay. Bring it on.
Anonymous Rantline caller