July is already halfway gone, but there’s plenty of summer left. Still haven’t done a thing to get your body beach-ready? Here are the most effective — if not the cheapest — ways to get svelte in record time.

Credit: J.C.

SHAPE-UP SHORTCUTS

Unless you’re a supermodel like Heidi Klum, you — like most women — dread bikini season. With summer in full swing, we all want to tone the winter flab and go from beach blob to beach babe.

But how can that be achieved when it’s already mid-July and no real work has been done to reach that lofty goal? With the unwelcome rise of the amateur camera-phone paparazzi, the whole world’s feeling a bit like a stage, and none of us are too keen to have our flabby tum showing up on a random website alongside various snarky comments. That’s not how any of us envision our 15 minutes of fame.

I wanted to eliminate my muffin top as quickly and as painlessly as possible, so I could flaunt my two-piece Pucci — the one that’s sitting patiently in my closet, brand new, with the tags still firmly affixed. So, I researched some alternatives to get my body bikini-ready — without all the tedious workouts — to see if they were really worth the time and expense.

UNIVERSAL CONTOUR WRAP

We’ve all heard of body-slimming wraps, but do they actually work? I’ve tried a few in my day and, honestly, I never saw a difference. But when I read that the Universal Contour Wrap guaranteed to take six inches off after one treatment, I decided to try it out. It works by wrapping the body in bandages that have been soaked in warm, mineral-rich sea clay; it claims to drain the toxins out of the body, leaving it svelte and sculpted.

Stripped down to nothing — barring flimsy disposable underwear — my body was measured by Catrina Maunder, head esthetician at Trinity Salon & Spa, so I could have an exact number of inches stripped away.

“You’re not losing fat; you’re losing inches,” explained Maunder as she wrapped my body up in soggy bandages. “The clay and bandages will help to lift and tone. It takes out the toxins from the fatty tissues, but leaves in the water content, so you’re still hydrated. It’s actually really good for you. Most body wraps take out the toxins and the water, so you’re left without the toxins, but also dehydrated.”

Covered from chin to toe in the bandages, I looked like a severe-burn victim, and felt like I had just put on a Spanx unitard. Catrina helped me into what looked like a silver space suit, spa mittens and booties, to keep the heat in as my body sweated out the toxins and absorbed the clay. I waddled back to the bed and lay there for an hour. Halfway through, I was treated to a mini-facial and a mind-melting scalp massage.

When the bandages came off, I couldn’t help but stare at my new, more toned mid-section — I did see an overall improvement. As Catrina took my measurements, she let me know that my bum had definitely lifted and the overall result was that I had lost an astounding 9.1 inches off my entire body!

“Drink plenty of water so your body can continue to lose inches and detoxify,” said Catrina as I left the spa. “The clay is still in your pores, and the process can continue for a few more days after you leave.” She also advised me that if I stayed away from tea, coffee, sugar, salt, carbonated drinks, alcohol, and fried and fatty foods, and drank loads of water, I could keep the inches off for up to a month.

It’s been over a week now, and I’ve still managed to stay svelte. If losing inches is as easy as a wrap and a facial, bring it on!

$165 per treatment at Trinity Salon & Spa (4138 Dawson, Burnaby, 604 298-8135, TrinitySalonAndSpa.com)

ULTRASHAPE

For those with a few stubborn problem areas who aren’t ready to go under the knife just yet, here’s the next best thing: Ultrashape. A non-surgical procedure, it uses ultrasound waves to target and reduce small areas of unwanted fat, such as the abs, thighs and flanks (“love handles”). “It doesn’t do huge gobs of fat,” explains Dr. Francis Jang, the dermatologist at Skinworks. “This is a gradual reduction of millimetres of layers of fat.”

With no downtime and no pain, the procedure seems like the perfect solution for firming up in time for the rest of the summer. “During treatment, a handheld device, similar in size to a hockey puck, glides over the area that is being treated. The fat cells are disrupted and the fatty acid is then taken out by the bloodstream, and, consequently, washed out of the body,” Dr. Jang explains. “It’s completely non-invasive and it doesn’t hurt. Each of the pulses is about three seconds long. You’re using vibration to disrupt fat cells.”

Dr. Jang says the treatment is totally safe for the surrounding soft tissues, so there is absolutely no risk of nerve or muscle damage. “It’s very specific for fat cells. It’s really, really safe.”

I wanted quick results, and asked Dr. Jang if I would see a visible difference in one treatment. “It’s probably only taking, on average, a small layer of fat, but circumferential,” she explained. Based on a study conducted in Sweden and the U.K., “The average loss for the abs after one treatment is about an inch or a little more than that.” While it’s not a huge loss, the long-term benefits of this slight tweak were appealing. The fat cells in the area do not return, unless a huge weight gain occurs. The aforementioned studies show that 70 to 80 per cent of people were satisfied with the amount of fat reduction they received.

The only drawback to this treatment is the price tag: It requires three monthly treatments and, at $1,000 a pop, I’d have to live with my love handles just a little longer while I saved my pretty pennies.

At Skinworks Cosmetic Dermatology, Laser, Skincare & Plastic Surgery (3568/3578 West 41st, 604 737-7100, SkinWorks.ca)

MINI-LIPO

Being a magazine junkie, I had been reading about a new form of liposuction that allows patients to walk in and out of a clinic on the same day, with no downtime. Everyone in L.A. and New York seemed to be getting it done.

While I’m not quite ready for some nip/tuck, I wanted to see what all the hype was about, and whether it was even available in Canada. The procedure the magazines referred to is called CoolLipo, a laser-based procedure that liquefies fat cells and destroys them, allowing for a less invasive removal with minimal bruising and swelling.

While CoolLipo isn’t yet available in Canada, I did locate Lipidoctor, a medical-clinic chain in the Toronto area that offers a treatment called Mini-Lipo which spot-reduces small fatty areas. Mini-Lipo is performed under local anaesthetic, usually without sedation, and patients return to their normal lives immediately. The fat is removed by hand with syringes, mining layers from the surface down, and allowing for greater sculpting control. A light body-slimmer must be worn for two weeks following the procedure, and subsequent at-home care includes using specialized treatment creams for maximum effect. Although the treatment isn’t instantaneous like the other two, it only takes eight to 10 weeks for the skin to tighten and the full effects to be noticeable.

1-800-WHY-BODY, LipiDoctor.com