THE COLUMN: This is the election that really counts

At a recent reception, Vision Vancouver mayoral candidate Gregor Robertson offered up an innovative new platform. “If elected,” he said, “I’ll pay for the increased Olympic costs by melting down the mayor’s chain.”

Next week’s civic election will hand that official bauble over to new ownership — likely either Robertson or the NPA’s Peter Ladner. Robertson’s daring new initiative may well force Ladner to up the ante, perhaps by proposing a string of jewel heists. After all, things are looking rough: Olympic building costs have been skyrocketing, and the loonie’s recent dive hasn’t helped. New sources of funding are needed. Why not peddle the family jewels?

The Vancouver mayor’s official chain of office was fashioned 96 years ago by Birks. It’s approximately 24 inches long, with an enameled pendant. It weighs 28 ounces, and is made of gold. Fourteen-karat gold, friends. Our troubles could be over.

Alas, Robertson was only joking. And, anyway, our Olympic funding issues require a little more cash than the mayor’s chain could provide. The fault lies with the city fathers: Back in 1912, they should have ponied up the cash for some serious diamond-studded bling, the kind of thing we could sell to Ludacris or 50 Cent for some serious money.

Melting down the mayor’s chain might not pay off Olympic cost overruns, but it might at least give a guy enough money to pay off his transit fine. Word surfaced last week that Robertson has an outstanding charge of $173 for travelling two zones on a one-zone SkyTrain ticket. Robertson has said he intends to wait until his December 4 hearing so he can protest the size of the fine. Imagine the scenario if Robertson wins the election — it could make that hearing very interesting. The provincial court might levy a fine against newly-elected Mayor Robertson; Mayor Robertson might respond by making SkyTrain illegal. Court might order Robertson taken into custody; Mayor Robertson could then declare himself Emperor of the breakaway Republic of Vancouver and order provincial court officials beheaded. Court could then respond by tacking on a fine for littering. And so on.

Vancouverites have been suffering from election overload recently; in the past month, we’ve held more votes than a planning committee for the prom. We’ve had the federal election and the provincial by-election, all while being distracted by the U.S. presidential election and the upcoming provincial election. Some confusion is understandable — there’ll probably be more than a few people searching the November 15 ballot for Sarah Palin. It probably doesn’t help any that the provincial by-election ballot and the civic mayoral ballot will both feature the name of pot-legalization activist Marc Emery, who ran for the provincial legislature and for mayor simultaneously. That’s a strategy John McCain should have considered — he could have had a shot as mayor of Des Moines.

Like a lot of recent elections, it’s no picnic keeping straight just what everyone’s responsibilities are. The Olympics may be the ultimate local issue for Vancouver right now, but if we have 2010 budget problems, what can the mayor do about it? When you’re standing in the voting booth, top-of-mind issues like the economy or the Olympics aren’t necessarily at play. This one is more about property tax rates and civic planning.

Still, in a lot of ways, the civic election can be the most compelling, since it’s the election that hits closest to home. Deciding our foreign policy toward Iran and our future involvement in Afghanistan is important stuff, but if you want to get folks really wound up, start talking about a dedicated bike lane on the Burrard Bridge. Start talking about what we’ll do to get homeless people off the streets and to deal with aggressive panhandlers. The economy is big and weird and mysterious. Panhandlers are standing in front of you on the street. Sub-prime mortgage crises don’t do that.

For all the attention directed elsewhere, it’s been a pretty fascinating civic contest: the possibility of a Carole Taylor coronation, unexpectedly called off when Taylor decided she didn’t want the job on a silver platter; the palace coup as Ladner knocked off incumbent Mayor Sam Sullivan for the party nomination; the unite-the-left deal that saw Robertson gain a clear field to run for the anti-NPA vote; and, just to add that bizarre last-minute touch Vancouver is famous for, Robertson’s outstanding SkyTrain fine. If it hadn’t been drowned out by the epic U.S. race, people would probably be giving this show two thumbs up.

Now, at last, with just over a week to go, Ladner and Robertson have the stage to themselves. That’s not to discount some of the other candidates on the mayoral ballot, such as local activist Betty Krawczyk of the Work Less Party. Krawczyk has been arrested and jailed numerous times for her courageous stands against various development projects. It’s a compelling record. But Robertson is ready. After he does hard time for his SkyTrain offense, he’ll have the prison tats to match Betty, ink for ink.

Saturday, November 15. Don’t forget to vote.